im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
