Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
