2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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