So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
