Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That accounts for only three of the penises
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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