STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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