Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
