It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im holly from the hills drunk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
