Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
