I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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