the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
