We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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