I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He shit in the fireplace
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
