If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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