So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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