There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Walk of Shame today included voting.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
