i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She even gives head with a lisp.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
