She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
