I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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