You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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