Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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