My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
