dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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