I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
