He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
