Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
