can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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