This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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