so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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