Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
