I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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