I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
