Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
