His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
