Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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