This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
