they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
