If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
