I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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