I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
there is glitter all over my balls
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
