she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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