Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can you bring me the toilet please
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i believe in u and ur pee
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
