ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
