I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
