She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
