Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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