i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
