I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
