out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
