you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
