going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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